AFTER THE ACCIDENT

Posted on 08/30/09

Almost 2 weeks ago, on 8/17/09, I was in an accident. I was a pedestrian who was hit on the American River bike trail by a bicyclist going at a pretty good speed. I was knocked unconscious. I have no recall whatsoever of the accident. I am, in many respects, a little unnerved by that. On another level, I should probably be grateful I do not remember what happened to me. The first really clear memory I have is waking up in my room at the hospital after I was already admitted. I was being cared for by a nurse named Jason, and Lewis was standing next to my bed, looking exhausted.

In the 13 days since the accident, little bits and pieces of memory are starting to come back about the time period after the accident. I kind of remember being in an ambulance and being treated by paramedics and arriving at the hospital. There is not much else I remember. I remember a guy in a bicycle helmet telling me to lie still. I am not sure, but I think I tried to get up. I have a concussion that is starting to clear, though I still have depth perception issues and I get dizzy if I move too fast. I have a broken clavicle—first time in my life I’ve ever suffered a broken bone and I certainly hope it’s the last—hurts like a bitch—but I am alive, and I survived. I initially had 3 stitches in my head and a laceration that bled quite a bit. When I awoke in the hospital, my head was covered in dried blood. I have a huge bruise on my face and one on my hip. I only know what happened to me because it is what I have been told, but I do not have any recollection of the event whatsoever.

I have a lot of pain in my right shoulder. Wouldn’t it just be my luck that if I had to break a limb, it had to be my dominant extremity! LOL!

I work with a wonderful group of people who became worried and set out to find me when I did not return from my daily lunchtime walk. They spread out in different directions, going the places they know that I frequent when I am out walking at lunchtime. Some of my coworkers, one of them being my supervisor, found a police officer and were going to ask him how long an employee had to be missing in order to make an official report. It just so happened that the officer they encountered was the one that took the report of my accident, and he was able to tell them I had been taken by ambulance to the hospital. My boss was able to contact my husband at work, who was then able to come to the hospital and remain at my side. I was apparently confused. Thanks to discussions with and prompting from my incredible husband, I remember a conversation we had regarding the amount of time that had passed and where he is working now. I remember not remembering where he works now, if that makes sense. I remembered the conversation after he told me about it, but it was more like a dream than a real memory. Everything that first day or so is a big blur, but I think in time I will remember what I need to remember.

For the first week or so after the accident, I would spontaneously start crying for no reason at all. It’s part of what happens when you get a concussion, I’m told. It’s also not unusual to feel weird about things and situations after a blow to the head like that. I am experiencing a little bit of that, so I am going to contact the Employee Assistance Program through my employer and see if I can talk to someone and work out some of the issues surrounding my accident. I am having emotions I can't identify, and that’s a first for me.

It’s hard to describe, but there is a part of me that feels like I’m never going to be the same again.

I’m definitely being treated differently at work. I can't leave my desk without letting someone know where I’m going. I am not allowed to go walking out on the bike trail anymore, not that I am in a hurry to do so anyway—at least not by myself! A 2-day hospital stay that I cannot afford was enough to keep me off the bike trails for a while. My coworkers are more than willing to go above and beyond to help me get to and from work if I need a ride, since I still can't drive for 2 more weeks. I am so grateful for everyone’s kindness and helpfulness right now. I have trouble finding the words to express my gratitude, so I have designed necklaces for all the women I work with in my department on a day to day basis. I hope to have them all completed in the next couple of days so I can bring them in to the office and give them to everyone. That would be awesome.